Why, why oh why do I keep getting sick? Am I going to have to believe that my mother was right and I should have been taking vitamin supplements with names like "Wellness Formula", "Juice Plus" and "You Eat Like Shit So You Need All the Help You Can Get" all along? OK, so I made that last one up, but still! She has been haranguing me for years to take immune supplements with B12 and Q47 and such and God, if she's right, I'm going to need more than a vitamin. I've been fighting the supplement wars for so long I don't think I can go into the health food store without them recognizing an enemy in their midst and pelting me with vitamin E capsules that will explode and blind me so they can inject echinacea into my bloodstream without my taking them down.
I have no voice and my sinuses hurt. I had pleurisy last month. What is this, 1815?? Pleurisy?? I want to go home. I want Mentholatum and French onion soup. I want my mommy. I'll even tell her she was right.