1. Make sure to wash your hands very thoroughly after cleaning the snake cage. Salmonella is not your friend.
2. If you must incessantly cough, swear, yell, bitch or spend more than an hour on the phone arguing with members of your family, shut your damn door. I should not have to share in all of your diseases and dramas just because I have no personal space.
3. To everyone who can't keep their opinions to themselves when they are supposed to be paying attention, shut up, shut up, SHUT UP! And as it takes you three times as long as anyone else to learn the music because you have the IQ of a piece of plywood, you especially need to listen. Yes, I know that when I was in college choir, you couldn't have made me stop talking without removing my head, but I was TWENTY. You're FIFTY. Shut up.
4. My desk is MY DESK. No, you can't borrow my stapler/sugar/phone/pens. You take my pens and never return them.
5. If I'm listening to my iPod, please don't talk to me while the headphones are still in. I can't hear you and it means I don't want to. I have five minutes of personal time a day and you're interrupting it.
6. Don't drink caffeine on a gurgly and upset stomach. It really doesn't help.