Monday, February 13, 2006
Dear young lady who is currently in a meeting with my boss:
You're charming. Smart, tidy, darling shoes, excellent phone manner. However, you need to express your sense of individuality in a way other than using a perfume that smells more like urine and less like fragrance the further one gets away from the source, and one has to be far away from the source in order to not choke to death as you apparently replaced your hot water heater with an atomizer and bathed in Liz Claiborne's hateful 80's eau de stink right before you came for your appointment. Not the best way to approach a professional about becoming a research assistant in a laboratory inside which you're not even allowed to apply lipstick. But, you have good hair. Go with that, instead.