Sad realizations.

Ricky Ricardo was a lousy singer.  On the positive side, Lucy's dresses were gorgeous.

Well...

it only makes sense.

All Growed Up

Shelly and I drove to Spokane this weekend to see the nephews and the folks. Now that the boys are living there, I'll have to make the trip more often as the vital vitamin N blood level drops when I go too long without being tackled or told that I'm loved by a three year old with a lisp. This time, Christian couldn't go as he had to work absurdly long hours to prepare for some big work event, so we left early on Friday afternoon after picking up Mark to take him home before he had to return to work on Monday as he's not telecommuting right now. We listened to mostly Broadway musicals (Curtains and Avenue Q, which both give me hope that the American musical isn't dead) and then some really dirty comedy once the musicals were over.

As this time we left early and returned late (as I don't work on Mondays), we saw the boys repeatedly, visited my grandma, got fitted for bras, walked around the "old" part of town and met up with a former college professor with whom I've maintained contact. Now, when I was 20 and he started teaching, he was in his early thirties, so his first group of students weren't too far from his age, and many of us maintained friendships after college as he's still one of the most hilarious people I've ever known. Mom had sent me an article a while ago on how he purchased an old home in town and was renovating it. Consequently, we got in touch and made plans to meet up and see his house. However, what I didn't remember from the article was that he bought one of the original Kirtland Cutter mansions. We met up at the Music Building on campus to see all the changes in my former program and went to see the house. I wasn't prepared. As we were driving there, we discussed the absurd Seattle real estate prices and crappy square footage and I asked him how big his house was. He asked me about mine, and I told him that it was around 1,200. He replied that his was slightly larger. As soon as I saw the house, I could communicate only in expletives and choking sounds. I think my exact words were, "motherfuckingsonofabitchholyshitohmygodareyoufuckingkiddingme?"

At around 10,000 square feet, the Mission revival style house, built in 1907, was the house I had driven by perhaps a million times when I was a high-schooler and undergrad coming home from my friend's house around the corner and cried over with lust and longing. The house was in, what could most kindly be described as, a catastrophic state. The stucco was discolored and crumbling, the addition on the north side had been veneered using garden lattice and aluminum, and the outside was defaced with wires and tubing.

Since buying the home a year and a half ago in a transaction described my him as borderline insane, my friend had to wait for the current occupants, elderly individuals in need of round the clock care, to be moved to their new home before he could move in and begin any work. That took six months. It took another two months to reskim the stucco, and, while he was encouraged to demolish the addition added in the 60s, he went in the non-recommended opposite direction and rebuilt the infrastructure, recreated windows and doors to match the main house, added a porch on top surrounded by a retaining wall to perfectly match the porch below it, and converted the entire wing, which had formerly been the dormitory for the residents and was in ghastly and deeply disturbing shape, to a master suite with a closet larger than my living room. I cried when I saw that room. I also cried when he showed us the new living room/dining room/concert hall that had recently been completed. Two sets of pocket doors were recovered and refinished and replaced to lead from the foyer to this room, box beams were recreated to match the library across the hall, travertine floors were laid and a bathroom at the rear of this hall with its two filthy toilets was torn out and rebuilt to now contain an original claw-foot bathtub found in the prison-like basement bathroom.

As he walked us through the rest of the house and laid out the plans for work and Shelly and I sobbed a little at every bit of stone (hand carved to represent medieval-style woodland creatures) and woodwork and each piece of molding and leaded glass, I recalled a line from Pride and Prejudice, when Jane asked Lizzy when she first fell in love with Mr. Darcy. She replied that she could date it from first seeing his beautiful estate at Pemberly. When I asked him if he was dating anyone (because I have no boundaries and married people always want everyone else to be married), he replied no. I don't think that will be the case for long.

With a ho ho ho and a hee hee hee.

Sasha can imitate us saying his name in a low growly voice perfectly, which he follows with his witch cackle.  Why did I spend hundreds of dollars on toys when, more than anything else, he loves a brown sock knotted in the middle and chases it after he throws it across the cage, like a dog playing fetch.  He then laughs again.  It's the thing we can do to get him to stop yelling for us, make him laugh.  He'll laugh and laugh and I really think he knows what it means, but, of course, the things he does are so funny that I'm sure previous owners have laughed when he did them, so it could be that he's just repeating a pattern.  Still, it's adorable and a welcome change from the brakbrakbrakbrakbrakbrak we've been hearing for months.  

Cyril now will yelp when Sasha is screaming, but it's kind of a small, squawky, shrieky sound that is more funny than annoying.  He also fluffs up and then shrinks down with each exhale when squawking, so he looks like a blue poofball toy that's being squeezed.  

Watching my beloved poopers makes it even harder for me to think about the birds Tina is trying to save in Panama.  Apparently, the red tape is such that it may be impossible to bring them to the researcher who can save them.  They will most likely be sold under the table as pets.  

The captured parrot trade is a huge business in Central and South America as well as Africa and Australia as netting and then selling birds is a hugely profitable endeavor as there's almost no expenditure required, just brutal nets that tangle feet and wings.  The death rate of parrots captured and then transported for sale is between 40 and 50 percent, according to CITES.  The sale of captured, wild birds is illegal in the US and the EU, but birds still enter the country through smuggling and are then sold to unscrupulous pet shops.  These wild and ill-treated birds understandably make very poor pets and often die from starvation due to neglect in new homes.  

I really think I need to get involved.  Information will be forthcoming.

I am easily assimilated.

Fine.  I joined Facebook.  Now I have THREE pages to keep updated.  Hmpf.

Three kinds of day.

Morning:  Crappy start, very tired from show closing party the night before.  Behaviorist supposed to come at 9:30, had time down as 1, came at 10:30, stayed for three hours.  Successful session for Christian, not so much for me as was sushed repeatedly like five year old in movie theater.  Cost $240, were planning on $80.

Afternoon:  Excellent time with Rich and Shelly at awesomely tacky Auburn SuperMall.  Shopped at Disney Parks outlet (overstock from Disneyland), found final four blown glass ornaments from 50th anniversary set (have two, couldn't afford rest on last trip) for half price.  Saw "Nightmare before Christmas" in 3-D.

Evening:  Utter shit.  Hit beautiful white stray cat on way home.  When got out of car to try and save cat, saw cat's mate run away.  Cat died in car on way to emergency vet.  Never had this happen before.  Really can't stop thinking about it.  Sick to my stomach and can't get imagery out of my head.

Still, heard from cousin Steph this morning, and she got in to UW for medical school, which is freaking incredible.  So proud, especially as 1) she took time off to volunteer in three countries, went back to school to do pre-reqs and worked while doing so and 2) is first person in family to go to med school.  Christmas this year will be full of celebration.  Need to think of suitable present.  Briefcase?  Wingtips?  Old fashioned doctor's bag?  Hmmm.

Please, though, say a little prayer for the kitty.  I'll do the same.

I shall hop a plane tonight to help.

Because she's WAY too damn modest to post about it herself, I'm going to share my sister's parrot rescue story. To recap Tina's story so far, she's a wildlife biologist who is taking three months off of her normal life to study songbirds in Panama with a grad school colleague. She emailed me this story yesterday:

"Saga 1 -- Parrot rescue! At this park we work at there's a little "office" and people who guard the park work there. They had 4 parrots in 2 small dirty cages, and a mess of other bad things you don't want to hear about. I expressed my concern to (her colleague) about the condition of the cages, the food, water, etc, and said it was not good, and what could I do about it? I started changing their water, and bringing them fresh fruit myself. On Wednesday, we went in and one bird was gone. I asked (another colleague) to ask them what happened, and they said one of the other parrots killed it. I was not surprised given the small cages, mixed species, no proper care and attention. But I was furious and could think of nothing else the rest of the day, as they didn't particularly seem to care. (Colleague 1) thought they have only had the birds about a month, and they were confiscated from someone, and the park people were just going to see "how they go". Well, they are not "going" well!! So I told (Colleague 1) I wanted to talk to whomever was in charge and tell them this wasn't right, or find some way to make it right. Well, the person I can talk to was not there today at the park. But back at Tupper today, he introduced me to (a researcher), who does some work with parrots. When I explained the situation, she immediately said, bring them to me and I'll take them. She'll fatten them up, clean them up, and see what can be done regarding adopting them out or releasing them. I am SO ecstatic. I cannot wait to get those birds out of that situation. I'll take them Saturday when I have a gamboa truck. Yeah!! I just feel awful about the 4th bird, why didn't I do something sooner?"

To which I replied, of course, you rock and have done everything you can. Because she's awesome.

Criminal Knits Check In!

All right, knitters of fury, post in comments and let us know how you're coming with hats, mittens and scarves for Miss Clara's little chickens. Leave your email and I'll send you her address for to mail said objects of warmth and comfort. Woot!

Technical Delays

Tech week always prevents me from posting. Four to five hour rehearsals every night for almost ten days tend to make one a wee bit listless. However, the opera has opened to two excellent reviews, and the only umbrage I take with both is the reviewers' criticisms of the set, which I love and think is freaking brilliant. Aside from the (hateful) raked platform stage, I find no fault with the scene the sets set (hee) at all. On the contrary, I think the feelings of mild claustrophobia and decrepit opulence suit the tone of the opera beautifully. And God, can Nuccia Focile sing. That woman is a heart-wrencher, she is.

Knit for the Criminals, 2007

To all the Forumites who wish to give the criminals in Miss Clara's classroom a warmer winter than they'd have otherwise, here are some patterns and sites to get you going:

This link has a ton of free hat and scarf set patterns.  This is a VERY easy mitten pattern, and this is a very easy hat AND mitten pattern.  If you are going to make either of these using one type of yarn, you can make a matching scarf by casting on six inches worth of stitches in the same yarn and working in garter stitch until you run out.  

Here's also an easy earflap hat and this is your standard stockinette hat.  All of these patterns are great stash eaters.  You don't need much time or yarn for any of these.  Good luck, and email me if you need any help!

Hmph.

Strong is not pronounced "schtrong," despite what the Army wants you to believe. Watching all of Season 1 of Heroes while home sick from work has made me peevish because no one can kill Sylar, dammit, and New York will get blown up before I get a chance to visit again. My nephew, Kyan, called me to tell me that he misses me and I bawled. Gus the three toed box turtle eats superworms like his head is a particularly prehistoric vacuum attachment, and it amuses me to watch his little steam shovel jaw scoop up the leftover crunchy bits. Crap, and speaking of vacuum attachments, I STILL haven't emptied the vacuum cleaner bag to find my diamond earring that got sucked up while I watched in slow motion, too torpid to intercede.

The behaviorist came to help us with Sasha, so we're reading to him and trying to make our presence near his cage less unbearable. It turns out he was pretty terrified from having the cage under the window, so we're undoing our own damage. I hope we can hold him again. Cyril is mad because we got him a new, separate cage, so he bit me, which hurt my feelings. However, he's so cute when he's mad I can hardly stand it. Who's the cutest fluffy angry birdie? He's also gotten very chubby and has breastbone cleavage, which is bad, apparently. I need to take him to the vet for his annual anyway, so I'll ask their advice.

The skylight in the guest bedroom is leaking from a old and busted seal. And why the hell am I so dizzy all the time? I just really want a piece of fried chicken, but then I think of KFC and their awful practices and lose my appetite. Christian and I have hardly seen each other in weeks because I'm rehearsing so much and our vacation seems impossibly far away, even though it's now in less than two months and, between now and then, I have two shows, a holiday and possibly surgery, for which I'm trying to lose weight so I'm hungry all the time. Christian just brought me home a beef and cheddar, though, so I'm fine now.

We had a turkey dinner on Sunday to say goodbye to Tina, and I have no clue what to do with all the leftovers, especially the gravy, which I hate. All the stuffing is gone, too, and that's the best part. Man, I still need to find out what Steel Pig puts in their sauce, now that they're closed and I have nowhere to get my fix.

I wonder if I'm depressed about something.

Why not to read opera reviews.

I read a review in the NY Times this morning of Romeo et Juliette at the Met, and the critic effused greatly about the young mezzo playing Stephano, who is a recent graduate of Juilliard's bachelor and master's programs and is managed by the top agency in the US. Now, I love to hear fantastic young voices, but sheesh, it can be depressing to read about those who have had a charmed career. Of course, that means nothing about her personal life and its hardships, but I can viciously hope that, when not making triumphant debuts at major international houses, she's a lonely spinster who sits at home and eats an entire gallon of Haagen-Daaz while watching A Baby Story on TLC.

An Obituary for Alex

And from CNN:



He was one amazing bird.

Photos from the fair, as promised...

Dr. Who done in needlepoint. Yep, David Tennant. In needlepoint.

Plus an angora goat, because, well, I like mohair.

And really, he's very silly.

If knitting is crack...

I'm definitely its bitch.  I just finished the fisherman's sweater I started LAST YEAR, but since I designed it, it didn't come out even approximately the right size.  It was supposed to be for Christian, but I didn't swatch my cable pattern, and I didn't realize until way, waaaaaaay too late that the center cables I chose would make the sweater about four inches too narrow. Length right, width wrong.  Once I realized that the sweater wouldn't fit Christian, I put it down for many months but thought about it constantly.  I decided that I'd give it to mom, but that's when I thought the body and sleeves would be shorter than they ended up.  I had to pick out and then redo the collar as I also hadn't even followed my own pattern well enough and had not made the armholes the right length.  The good thing about it all is that I think it will now fit Tina as she is very tall and slender and has longish arms, so I'm thinking it will be perfect, and I'll be able to knit Mom something pink and beaded.  I'm just glad someone I love can use it.  And it is quite attractive:

A sad event, indeed.

I just found out that Alex, the African Grey belonging to Dr. Irene Pepperberg, died unexpectedly on September 7th. His last words to Dr. Pepperberg before going to sleep, were, “You be good, see you tomorrow. I love you.” For the complete article, see here. I am distraught.

I shan't spend it all in one place.

We went to the Puyallup Fair yesterday, ostensibly to eat ourselves into a coma and chortle heartily at the tragic fashion parade in true, obnoxious, elitist, suburban form, but it was really to see if I won anything from entering my shawl in the Home Arts competition, which I DID.  I won second place, which was certainly a surprise, as I made two rather large mistakes in the border and didn't block it aggressively enough.  I won a magnificent $3, and I hope they give my my prize in check form so I can frame it next to the ribbon and this picture:

The first prize went to the shawl pictured below, the pattern for which is in "A Gathering of Lace," a book I also own. 

 

It is very beautiful and very well done, but I must comfort myself with the knowledge that the body of my shawl is one pattern and the trim is another, and I taught myself how to knit on the trim by picking up edge stitches, and in the winner's pattern, the book SAID how to do it, so nyah.  

Here was some of the competition. This one was very lovely:

And then there was this one, which, well, huh.  It's very Cher as dressed by Bob Mackie in the 80s if Bob favored acrylic fun fur which, really, he did.

I also got to see real Angora goats, from whence we get mohair (not angora, that comes from rabbits), and see mohair boucle yarn spun by one of the artist exhibitors in the hidden hall of classy (not with a k) handiwork.  Thankfully Shelly remembered where it was, as I had forgotten from last year.  I have never really been tempted to spin or dye my own yarn until now, as the colors and textures and materials were so gorgeously delicious that I only narrowly avoided humiliating my friends and necessitating a call to the fair police by throwing all the racks of skeins to the floor, stripping off my clothes and rolling in the piles of superwash merino and bamboo blends.  I was only allowed an hour in the hall, though, so there just wasn't time.  Next year, maybe.

Diagnosed

So, all the tests are done and all the tubes are out. A week and a half of sleepless nights are over and I feel a surprisingly strong sense of relief and I am no longer annoyed at, well, everything (Christian is heard to breathe a sigh of relief from his Redmond office).

It was confirmed that I have a hiatal hernia, which I knew. It's a sliding hernia, the more common type, thankfully, as a paraesophageal hernia is v. v. bad and can cause icky problems, like esophageal strangulation, which sounds like the esophagus would make little acky noises and hold its hands to its throat in the universal sign for "give me the Heimlich".

Anyway, the hernia isn't large, which is good, but it's either caused the sphincter at the base of my esophagus to become incompetent (useless thing) or the incompetent sphincter caused my stomach to migrate into my esophagus. Chicken...egg...

Interestingly, I also have a wastrel esophagus. It doesn't perform its job adequately, and sometimes not at all. The wretched manometry showed that the muscles don't move in synch to push food down, and sometimes give up all together and just flap around while looking for a place to nap.

Consequently, I can get a Toupet fundoplication performed to correct the hernia and limit the reflux, but this procedure isn't quite as effective as the full fundoplication, for which I'm not eligible because of the layabout esophagus. Another wrench in the works is that I'm too heavy right now to ensure the best outcome from the surgery. I actually felt a little sorry for the doctor, as he seemed a trifle nervous to bring up my weight, as though I would heave around my ass and smother him in outrage for letting that taboo subject be discussed amongst strangers, like my weight is an illegitimate child or Auntie's affair with the neighbor's hunky son. But really, saying I need to lose weight is like saying that global warming exists. We know it's there, it doesn't have a quick solution, but it's perfectly manageable if we all work together and exercise some restraint. Consequently, before I get the procedure done, I need to get the plump little ball rolling. Support and solidarity are requested.

Tube in, stomach contents out.

First three of four tests are done. First test, horrible. Large tube embedded with metal sensorballs inserted painfully through nose and down throat, inducing several vomiting bouts, embarrassingly, and then had to swallow salt water and viscous gel meant to simulate chewed food, all to test muscle strength and coordination as well as sphincter capabilities. Scrumptious. However, husband's love proven yet again, as held hand and petted head and lifted me up, while I oozed liquids from eyes, nose and throat. Wonderful husband. Love husband.

Finished test and then very happily sedated for second, of which absolutely nothing is remembered. Lovely drugs. Hiatal hernia confirmed. Had yet another tube inserted through nose, down esophagus and into stomach, fortunately while groggy enough to not care. Came home and was surprisingly alert, although surprisingly exhausted. Oddly, no reflux and belching now, irritatingly. Want proof of vexing issues. Where is proof? Need acid now. Must keep diary of incidents, but few incidents to report, as of yet.

Shelly and Angie came over and gave beautiful present, cupcakes and ice cream because they are loveliest friends and wanted to help. Shelly even taking me back tomorrow so I don't have to drive. At 7:30 am. Must buy chocolates for that.

Tube out tomorrow morning and then barium swallow. Consult with doctor at 9:30. Cross your fingers and hope for possibility of laparoscopic repair.

It burnses, it burnses.

Day five off Prilosec. Scope not for two more days. Esophagus burns. Throat hurts. Acid bubbling up from lack of sphincter. Intestines cramping from unaccustomed levels of gastric juices. No caffeine as makes more burning. Finally understand what endoscopy clinic questionnaire means when asks if stomach symptoms interfere with every day life. Can't sleep. Wake up coughing. No voice. Can't sing. Must constantly eat bland food to give hydrochloric something to do. However, all food sounds horrible as want to vomit all the time. Very burpy, which causes much embarrassment.

Bright side, lack of energy means I re-finished front and back of Aran sweater as only want to sit on ass and watch Coupling marathon. Don't want to work tomorrow as will be very busy and is Christian's birthday. Want to celebrate (in limited fashion). Can't wait for glorious drugs for scope.