Monday, August 07, 2006

Is it pink-red or brown-red?

We're painting our house next week. This is one of those tasks that I usually believe should be left to professionals, but as we don't have that extra $10,000 lying around and I certainly don't want to take out a loan, we're tackling that treacherous home-owner learning curve with the aid of both sets of parents, our neighbors and an infrared paint remover. The last item is intriguing and hopefully will be as efficient as promised. The videos of stripping paint on the rental website were almost pornographic and made me want to pull out old copies of This Old House I had hidden under my mattress and lovingly stroke the glossy color photos of freshly painted houses.

We've decided on a color called Roycroft Copper, a dark brownish-red that sounds hideous when I describe it (too much like dried blood) but looks beautiful on the house. It's from the Sherwin-Williams Arts and Crafts Home collection, and God knows they must be right. The trim will be alabaster white. I honestly think I chose this particular white because of the simple name. I can't take descriptions like "Fair Virgin Lily" when I choose a color.

In anticipation of painting, Christian had to cut back the wisteria, which seemed to be the only thing holding up our ancient and badly-built porch:

The wisteria is most likely around 30 years old, and cutting it seemed like a sacrilidge, despite its alien-like aggressive growth tendencies. Whenever we go away in the summer for more than two days, we come back to long tendrils reaching for the house and wrapped around the porch swing like they're going to crush the bedroom in a vegetative embrace. I just know that, if we were gone for more than a week, we'd come back to a throbbing green mass of vines and sweet-smelling blossoms. So, it'll grow back.

We know the porch looks like fifteen kinds of crap. We'll rebuild it with stone and cement and sturdier wood when we have accrued large sums of money from nefarious activities. I never thought I would wish to be a criminal, but owning an old home that needs work makes one think outside the strictly legal box.

Christian also cut back the flowering hedge that had been lovingly trained by the previous owner but one:

All of the privacy afforded by the hedge is gone, and we can see waaaaaay too much of the neighborhood now. The trellis filtered the light so nicely and sheltered us from the screaming WT house-of-a-thousand-occupants across the street.

I shall report our progress with pictures. Of course, by the end of next week, my entries will most likely consist of, "Can't....go...on....the scraping...God...THE SCRAPING!"


ible said...

SPUNK ! I love your SPUNK . You will become rich & famous from the TV sitcom " Dilly Dallies " based on your life & times. . . . but god NO , your part will not be played by Roseanne Barr

Christian said...

Dad, I understand your comments less and less.

The little smirking frog looks downright evil now, like he's giggling at the carnage all around him...

snusnu said...

If I'm being compared to Roseanne Barr, I'm offing myself right now.

The revenge of the smirking frog. I'm writing a novel called that.

Christian said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ible said...

OH ALRIGHT ! Jeeez. I'll keep my obtuse manner to myself hence .

But I'll tell you something . Back in WWII . . . OH never mind . . . you kids won't understand . Just forget it OK ?

AAM said...

what's wrong w/ the neighborhood? heh? I'll be played by Roseanne, have you seen her lately? she looks great!
I understand Sal..WWII is where you contracted footinmouth disease.
The kids understand.

ible said...

Thank God . I thought this generation was disrespectful but I see they aint .

WWII was a good war . We won because all the big movie star actors were in the best movies . I liked Robert Taylor in "Battan ". And John Wayne came in just when we thought we lost and he won the war for us . God Bless John Wayne . Even George Tobias did his part .

Didn't John Wayne play the smirking frog in " Return to Japan " ?