Instant Gratification

Knitting is rarely about doing anything quickly, especially when knitting something like this:

As I like to do everything quickly, this paradox and accompanying hair-rending can sometimes be troublesome to the soul.  Knitting is equal parts pleasure and therapy for me and I'm always looking for ways to be the faster, cooler knitter who blows the minds of other knitters with her expertise and prolific production of perfect, pulchritudinous products.  

Anyway, I've been trying for days to learn this technique of knitting, brought to light by the Yarn Harlot, who is the coolest knitter in the world as well as the most, well, prolific, if I may reuse a word.  I can't get it, though.  I just can't.  It feels awkward and strange and I keep dropping stitches.  I could not feel like a bigger loser, as other Ravelry knitters have tried it with great success and it has improved their speed and badassness and I really, really want to be a rock star, sex goddess knitter.  It's very important to me as I must be really good at things I love.  And now, I have to surrender this technique for a while, or until I start a new project where I can just knit on one side and purl on the other, as I've been trying the technique on Christian's aran, which is a mixture of purl, knit and cabling on each side.  I could be unintentionally just making it very hard for myself by trying a technique in the middle of a project with changing stitches, but IF I WERE A GOOD KNITTER IT WOULDN'T MATTER.  Pant, pant, pant.  

Fortunately, there is one aspect of knitting that satisfies the IG impulse, and that is buying pretty new yarn from the LYS with which to make a baby blanket, and then making a center-pull ball on my baller and swift.   That's not enough gratification, though, so then I have to ball all of my gorgeous new laceweight with which I'm going to make this.  Then, I have to fondle my new sock yarn that I'm going to use for Dad's socks for his belated birthday gift.  It's not getting any knitting done, but it feels pretty and soothes my troubled mind and I can convince myself that I'm actually saving future time by ensuring that the yarn I've purchased is up to snuff.

I have the tiniest fixation on balling yarn.  Since I got my baller (Heh.  I'm twelve.) and swift for Christmas (thank you, Lynn!), I want to ball everything, including loose threads from clothing and feathers dropped from the birds.  I spent a good two hours last night winding aforementioned laceweight into large, double-hank balls so it is usable, as knitting from a hank = a giant, horrid mess.  

The result, perfect little piles of delicious alpaca, makes the rest of it worthwhile.