Wednesday, October 14, 2009

The Smell of Evil

So, I know what my kid eats. I know that she eats vegetables and oatmeal and fruit and a little cheese and, occasionally, small amounts of meat. There's nothing mysterious about her food, she's not consuming steak tartare or sashimi, so why does her poop smell like 1,000 festering corpses? Sweet zombie Jesus, I have never smelled a stench like her poop stench. And when her diaper disposal unit is full and has to be emptied? If I could ralph up everything I've ever eaten because of the pervading aroma issuing from that pit of evil, I would. No amount of washing, bleaching or deodorizing makes even a modicum of difference. Post-cleaning, the thing just smells like bleach or soap or lavender and the breath of the Sarlaac.

Would you think that someone so adorable could produce such a smell?

Nor would I.


Trillian42 said...

The ridiculous amount of adorable is specifically to prevent you leaving her at the curb with the dirty diapers, I'm guessing. It's all in the universal plan for continuing the species and all. :D

Shelly said...

I secretly feed her raccoon. Sorry but she really likes it.