Warning

After picking the jalapenos off of a Vietnamese sandwich, never blow your nose without washing your hands first, because corporate tissue is useless and your finger will poke right through and the capsaicin under your fingernail will contact your mucus membranes, causing you to get a nose bleed and make your nostril feel as though you just inhaled a large quantity of fire from an acetylene torch that was aimed right at your sinuses, consequently forcing you to dance around your office like a cracked out grinder monkey holding a cold, wet paper towel to the inside of your nose just when your boss comes in to ask about his travel reimbursement. And, you know, that just doesn't send the right message about your reliability as an employee.